Bullies

I don't normally don't write crap like this, but yesterday I read a blog where the author whined about bullies, and over the weekend my wife views a video on YouTube about bullies, so I thought I would offer my observation on this time honored phenomenon.

I was bullied. My wife was bullied. My children have been and will be again bullied. My mom was bullied. My dad was bullied. So too my brother and sister. You've been bullied too. We all get bullied. To top it off, I've bullied. I've bullied the younger kids on the street. I've bullied my sister.

We aren't going to get rid of bullying by building up some social awareness. We all know it happens, so what's the point? Conflict is an essential part of humanity. Every book and every movie revolves around conflict. Conflict is good. Conflict is a challenge for us to overcome. What's the famous quote? "That which doesn't kill me makes me stronger." I thank my school-time bullies. They made me stronger. I endured their torment, and I like who I am because of it.

Children are hardwired to bully--and I question the maturity of adults who bully. Children retain an animal urge to prey upon the weak. Children create amongst themselves primitive social hierarchies and leadership is established through dominance. They are uncivilized little wild animals that we parents are in the process of domesticating.

Being bullied can screw with you, but only if you think of yourself as a victim. I stopped victimizing myself when I came to realize two important things: the bullying had no meaning other than what I ascribed it, and it was my fault the whole time. In other words, I was picked on solely because I was weak, and I was weak because I chose to be. I overcame this torment by taking responsibility of my life. I let them bully me. I didn't have too. I could have overcome the challenge and popped a few people in the nose. It would have gotten me in trouble (and as a child I was more fearful of that than anything) but it would have been worth the respect I would have earned. Case in point: I became friends with a kid (a bigger one than me) in the neighborhood by initiating a fight in defense of the hut me and my friends built in the woods. He whipped my ass, but later he said he gained respect for me because I stood up for myself. And an ass whooping is not a hard thing to endure to gain a friend, and a little self esteem. (The city later bulldozed that hut flat and covered it up; it was in a dry creak bed. They put a building there. I haven't been able to sit idle for such a grievous attack by superior forces and have been planning an assault for some time.)

Taking responsibility for my own life and the things I let happen to me was a Godsend. I shoved a weight off my shoulders, one I myself decided to carry. Doing so was part of the process of changing my worldview.

Bullies. Thanks. Couldn't have done it without you.